Part I: The following are some problems often associated with reentry.
Your friends and family may show a lack of, or not enough interest in your photo album, stories, etc.
Overseas, you were someone special and different and got lots of attention. But now that you're back home, you blend into the crowd as just another American.
You've grown apart from close friends. The friends who did not study abroad made new friendships while you were away and you feel left out. This is especially difficult since you may already be feeling a loss after having to say goodbye to the friends you made abroad.
Life in the US just isn't as exciting. You are coming back to a culture and country that you already know. The sense of newness is gone.
This may occur on several levels (parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, etc.). The dynamics in your house may have changed based on births, deaths, marriages, divorces, or even your absence. While abroad, we often retain an image of life back home that clashes with reality. Family members may also have difficulty accepting the ways in which you've changed.
You spent all that time perfecting your Russian, Chinese, Nepalese, etc., and now no longer have the opportunity to use the language skills that you acquired. You finally have figured out how to navigate your way around Rome without getting lost, how to bargin in an open air market, but are unable to put these skills to use in the US.
Typical reactions include loss of concentration, fatigue, loneliness, resentment, disorientation, sense of helplessness, and difficulty sleeping. Some people also go through a period of depression.
Your parents and friends may not try to understand how you have changed. You experience "reverse" homesickness, a nostalgia for the country in which you studied abroad. The following are some elements from your overseas experience that you may miss:
You have difficulty relating to people who chose not to study abroad.
You miss the freedom and time you had away to think, to be, to question, to "live", and to create your own identity.
You begin to loose the language you spoke while abroad because you never speak it at home. You begin to forget the names of the churches and monuments you visited while traveling. You are afraid that you will not have another opportunity to go back to the country in which you studied, or if you do, that the experience won't be the same.
You become overly critical of the US and judgmental of the norms here (reverse ethnocentrism). Things that never irritated you before suddenly do: Americans seem too materialistic, hypocritical, loud, rushed, etc.
To better understand reentry, it is helpful to view the process as one of a series of transitions and adaptations occasioned by your moving from the home culture to your host culture and then back to your home culture. It's actually a multi-step process, but we will focus on the three critical steps: leaving, entry, and settling in reentry.
Here are some suggestions from students who have had to deal with the reentry process.
Although many students anticipate problems associated with culture shock in the host country, few anticipate adjustment problems upon their return. It is the unexpected that causes the most difficulty. Assume that your readjustment will take some time.
Give yourself time to process all that has happened and to readjust to life back in the US.
Remember how important these traits were during your overseas experience? They are equally important when readapting to life in the US. Skills developed while abroad which may be useful now include looking at things objectively and with an open mind, acceptance of differences, patience in the face of frustration, and the ability to suspend judgment.
It is highly likely that other students who spent the past semester or year abroad are experiencing the same difficulties as you. These are people who can on some level share or relate to your feelings.
Show an interest in friends and family members from home. They have changed too, and need to feel your interest in their experiences as much as you need to feel their interest in yours.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you are having trouble adapting, or others who may need time to adjust to ways in which you have changed.
Be sensitive to your friends' and family's feelings and don't go overboard. Accept the fact that others may not be able to relate to your experiences as intensely as you may wish. Try to distinguish the mildly interested from those who want to hear every detail. Don't insist upon showing your entire 500 photo album in one sitting.
Do not let these go! Keep in touch: e-mail, letters, phone, birthday and holiday cards, etc. Invite them to visit you in the US, and if some of the friends you made through your program are American, plan to visit them. Visiting the foreign friends you made provides a great excuse to return to the country in which you studied abroad!
Here you can meet and talk with others who have had similar experiences and discuss personal ways of coping with difficulties, abroad and now back in the US. Once again, sharing feelings and/or venting realistic frustrations with others who have been abroad can be rather therapeutic. You are also encouraged to attend the Re-Entry Conference at Penn in the fall - Haverford is one of ten area colleges that participates each year.
Share the knowledge that you have brought back to the US. Some suggestions include:
Stress may cause you to feel fatigued, easily depressed, or subject to minor illness. Be careful about getting lots of rest when you come back to Haverford.
Keep learning about your host country, either formally through coursework or informally through reading. You can watch bilingual TV, attend foreign films, watch the nightly news from your host country, or see if there is a language club that you can become involved in (for example, at Bryn Mawr there is a French Club which organizes activities and has a French conversation hour once a week.
Eat food from your former host country, make scrapbooks from your pictures and mementos, write a journal about what the experience meant to you, speak the language with others who have studied abroad in the same country.
Time to put things into perspective, to figure out what are the lasting benefits from your experience, to perhaps reorganize and set new goals and priorities. It may be helpful to think about how the US has changed during your absence and how your world view has changed.
If you begin to feel overwhelmed coping with cultural readjustment and/or the pressures of being back at Haverford call Psychological Services (x 1290) for an appointment. We have experienced professionals on hand to help in this and life's other major transitions.
Study can be good therapy, the possibilities offered by international careers.
Many returnees hope to work overseas and/or expect to live geographically mobile lives. The Career Development Office has extensive information on careers in international business or law, diplomatic or foreign service, international development agencies, overseas teaching opportunities, etc. In addition, there are many jobs in the US, as well as abroad, that need bilingual employees.