The Campus Closet
Coming Out at Haverford

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by Michael Gluck '82

In 1993 and 1994, a number of Haverford alumni came together on campus to form the Lambda Alumni Network. Our experiences as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) men and women at Haverford were all different. We were at Haverford in different decades. And we had different reasons for wanting to form a group for GLBT alumni -- some wanting to come to terms with a fundamental part of their lives that was not part of their Haverford experience, some wanting to meet other alumni, all wanting to be a resource for GLBT individuals currently at the college.

Largely through word of mouth and symposia during the annual Alumni Weekend, our mailing list has grown to 150 members. Through my involvement with Lambda, I have been fortunate to talk with many of these folks and to hear their stories. Below you will find several of these personal histories. Each is different, but there are some important common elements. Despite whatever frustrations Lambda members have felt towards Haverford, most seem to believe strongly in the promise the college holds for a meaningful, broad education. In each story, I clearly see the core values cultivated by the Haverford experience.

	Michael E. Gluck '82 is a health policy analyst who does research on Medicare at the nonpartisan National Academcy of Social Insurance in Washington, DC.

Perhaps more significantly, these histories illustrate the difficulties that accompany that sense of "community" we value at Haverford. In a very quiet, Quakerly way, community can entail an enforced (or maybe presumed) homogeneity; when you choose to operate on the basis of consensus, difference, however important, can stand in the way of getting things done. Haverford is basically a "go along to get along" kind of place. While we learned to have respect for the individual, we at times internalized a certain conformity as well.

What else do these stories tell us? Certainly politically and morally Haverford men and women have come to accept the minorities among them and believe them to be equals -- even to possess cultures worthy of intellectual endeavor. But it is clearly asking a great deal of an 18- to 22-year-old woman or man to identify herself as different in a small place like Haverford -- to be visible in a place where few are. It takes a lot of self-confidence, and there are few role models. Perhaps the biggest fear for any of us who struggled with this issue at Haverford was the fear of being reduced to our sexual orientation. We were budding scientists, historians, or physicians; we played sports; we did volunteer work; we were involved in student government. But in being "out" perhaps we would only be known as "gay." A few folks do come out publicly. A few others are quietly open to close friends. But most seemed to have chosen to leave Haverford before exploring their sexuality.

In forming Lambda, we have sought to make Haverford a bit better at delivering on its promise of what it should be. For students who already know their sexual or gender orientation, and for students who are seeking to experiment and develop emotionally as well as intellectually, we hope to help them feel a part of a community, on- or off-campus, that includes them.

Contents: What was it like being gay at Haverford in the 50s? By Ed Steele '54 Being "Different" at Haverford in the 50s. By Jim McMasters '56 Gay Life at Haverford, or the Virtues and Limitations of Shoulder Checking. By Ed Sikov '78 On the Verge. By Wendell Carter '83 Tasting the Rainbow. By Kilian Kroll '01

We strive to make it easier for students to do some of this important exploration in an environment that is as supportive as Haverford can possibly be. I hope the increased visibility achieved by these stories make a small contribution towards that goal.

The genesis for this collection was a funny, poignant piece written by James McMasters '56. Jim passed away this past year, but not before leaving a brief reminiscence of his time at Haverford. Israel Burshatin, William R. Kenan, Jr. Professor of Spanish and Comparative Literature, reminded us of its existence and suggested its publication would be a fitting tribute to Jim. Although quite frank, it captures Jim's experiences almost a half-century ago in a humorous yet touching way. In Jim's memory, it is reproduced here, along with contributions by several other alumni and a current Haverford student. I hope other Haverfordians, gay or straight, enjoy the insights of these recollections offer, if not find some resonance with their own experiences at the College.

[Those interested in learning more about Lambda, no matter what your orientation, are encouraged to join the mailing list. The extent of Lambda's activities vary from year to year, but at a minimum the group organizes a panel discussion at each spring's Alumni Weekend and a Haverford reception in New York each June in conjunction with Gay Pride. Members have produced a career directory of Lambda members for students and other alumni to use for networking. For more information, contact the Alumni Office (610-896-1004) or the group's current chair, Theo Posselt '94 (510-891-9776; tposselt@dttus.com).]