Microsoft decided to open a subsidiary in Saudi Arabia.
These were the results:

1. Their main product became "Shababeek 2000"
2. Every product had two versions: Singles and Family.
3. When installing any new application, in addition to the product serial
number, one has also to include his "Iqama" number.
4. The computer will shut off automatically during "Salat" and will not boot
until "Salat" is over.
5. During Ramadan the computer will work only after Iftar.
6. All e-mail will have to go through a special department in customs to
check if there is any mention of alcohol.
7. A program had to be installed to automatically veil all female pictures
arriving by e-mail.
8. The computer will boot only after you enter "Bismillah Al Rahman al
Rahim" in the AUTOEXEC.BAT.
9. The Saudi National Anthem is played when the computer boots.
10. "Shababeek" always opens with a picture of the King.
11. All Dialog boxes have "Bismillah Al Rahman al Rahim" under the heading.
12. Dialog boxes give a choice of "Insha' Allah," instead of "Yes"; "Ma
Fee," instead of "No"; or "Rooh Walli," instead of Cancel."
13. Screen Savers background always includes the Saudi National flag.
14. The mouse pointer is a figure of a Mataw'a with a stick.
15. If there is any mention of Saddam Hussein in any e-mail the computer
freezes.
16.  The "HELP" file had to be written in Arabic, Sri Lankan, Urdu, Bengali
and Hindu, in addition to English.
17. If a female uses the computer, the computer automatically detects it and
starts making a back up copy of all input; the backup can be accessed only
by a husband or a male member of the household.
 
When Microsoft had to open a subsidiary in Lebanon,
they had to do the following:

I. The subsidiary had to be owned by Rafik AlHariri.
II. They had to guarantee a 'fee' to the Chairman of the company on every
email message received or sent.
III. They had to guarantee a 5% commission to Nabih Berri on all sales of
software.
IV. They had to take a reserve of 10% for contingent payments to custom officials.
V. They had to have a Maronite chairman of the board approved by Hafeth al
Assad, a Sunni president approved by Hafeth al Assad, and a Shi'i financial
manager approved by Hafeth al Assad.
VI. When you boot the computer you will hear the Syrian national anthem.
VII. When you open Windows you will see a picture of the late Basil Al
Assad.
VIII. The recycle bin could only be emptied after written permission from
the Mukhabarat.
IX. All email with any female pictures will pass through a special computer
program that will inject the lips with silicone, reduce the length of the
skirts, and boost the size of the breasts.
X. Dialog boxes give a choice of "On va essayer," instead of "Yes"; "Je ne
peux plus," instead of "No"; or "Essayez un Viagra," instead of "Cancel.
XI. The mouse pointer will consist of a Cedar Tree.
 
Mashhour El-Basha
E-Mail : ov@go.com.jo <mailto:ov@go.com.jo>