Lyrics for 2007 APS March Meeting Sing-along / Listen-along,

Hosted by Walter F. Smith, Haverford College

 

Fusion Girl    by Bill Higgins        

Copyright 1989 by William S. Higgins

Tune: Da Doo Ron Ron, by the Crystals

 

I was working in the Fusion Lab= late one night

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

But I couldn't get my magnetic bottle to light

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Yeah, it was late at night   

Yeah, it wouldn't light

Yeah, I thought, “No fusion for me!” 

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

 [Instrumental interlude]

 

Then I met a chemist who was kinda pretty

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

She told me that she came from Salt Lake City

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Yeah, she was kinda pretty  

Yeah, she came from Salt Lake City

Yeah, she was a Fusion Girl 

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron.

 

She said, "You're wasting your time, and you're bound to lose"

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

"Let me introduce you to a new way to fuse"

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Yeah, you're bound to lose  

Yeah, a new way to fuse

Yeah, she was a Fusion Girl  

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

[Instrumental interlude]

 

What Fermi did under a stadium

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

She did with heavy water and palladium

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Yeah, he had a stadium    

Yeah, she had palladium

Yeah, she was a Fusion Girl  

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron.

 

We made it together and it was so sweet

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

Just a few neutrons and a whole lotta heat

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Yeah, it was so sweet  

Yeah, a lotta heat

Yeah, she was a Fusion Girl  

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron ron

 

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron,

Da deuteron, ron, ron, da deuteron, ron.


Leaving On a Plane Wave

Words by Vann Joines & Marian McKenzie, 3-4-06

Tune: Leavin’ on a Jet Plane, by John Denver

 

The apparatus is set, I’m ready to go.

A single slit though which I’ll flow

I must diffract, so here’s good bye to you --

For my lambda is set, the wavelength to fly

And the width is measured in units S.I.

You’ll find theta-min when you divide the two --

 

[Chorus:] So switch on and power me

Tell me that you’ll measure me

And I’ll amaze you every time I go  

Cause I’m leavin’ on a Plane wave

You’ll see me on your photo plate   

I’m light, I have to glow.

 

Pause a bit before you send me, 

Praising those who comprehend me -- 

Raise a toast to Huygens and to Young!

My photons vibrate with desire, 

My passion sends my omega higher,

I’d pant and gasp, if I just had a lung!

 

[Chorus:]  So switch on and power me

Tell me that you’ll measure me

And I’ll amaze you every time I go  

Cause I’m leavin’ on a Plane wave

You’ll see me on your photo plate   

I’m light, I have to glow.

 

 [Instrumental interlude]

 

Now it’s time to calculate me, 

Measure me, and titillate me.

Don’t drop the ruler – that would kill the mood!

Dream about intensity,  

 My glorious wave’s immensity

Proportional to square of amplitude

 

Final chorus with repeated motif:

So switch on and power me   

Tell me that you’ll measure me

And I’ll amaze you every time I go  

Cause I’m leavin’ on a Plane wave

Well, not exactly lit’rally

Sort of like a Plane wave

Near the axis of symmetry.  

I’m light, I have to glow.

 

The Physical Constants Song                           

Words by Walter F. Smith, 4-23-05

Tune: Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious 

(underlining indicates emphasis)

 

3.14159 is memorized with ease,

But when it comes to “e”, there are two possibilities:

It might be 2.71828183,

Or 1.602 by minus nineteen, don’t you see!

 

They say Bohr was a giant, but I can’t agree with them

His radius is only oh point oh five three nm!

That describes the orbital of hydrogen 1s --

It’s around ten thousand times the size of the nucleus!

 

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

 

The perme-ability of free space is quite strange --

4 pi by minus seven, but at least it doesn’t change!

Mu-naught has a partner known as epsilon-sub-naught:

8 point eight five by minus 12 – we use it quite a lot!

 

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

(Up a step) Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

 

Boltzmann said, “I think I’ll name this constant after me:

1.38054 by minus 23 !”

But when it comes to quantum,

                           it was Planck who knew the score—

1.054 times ten to minus 34 !

 

Avogadro’s number, well it takes a while to count—

6.022 by 23, a large amount.

NA times k-sub-B gives you the “R” in “nRT”,

And 96.5 kJ’s per mole is one eV!

 

m-sub-e’s 9 point one one by minus 31.

One point six six by minus twenty-seven’s a proton.

The mass of earth is big at 6.0 by 24,

But solar mass is 2 times 10 to 30, that’s lots more!

 

A parsec measured in light years is 3.262.

A hundred fifty billion meters equals one AU.

From earth to moon is three hundred eighty-four thousand klicks!

And R-sub-E in meters: 6.4 by 10 to 6 !

 

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

(Up a step) Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

 

 (This verse done with outrageous French accent)

The units we have used are “Système Internationale”,

But if your French is rusty, they’re called “MKS” as well.

So if you like the statcoulomb, the pound, or inch, or ell,

Then take your nasty units and do measurements in hell!

 

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

(Up a half step) Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

 

If we’ve ignored your favorites, why we’ll try to make it right –

2.9979 by 8’s the speed of light.

Big G is six point six seven by ten minus eleven,

And alpha’s one divided by a hundred thirty-seven!

And alpha’s one divided by a hundred thirty-seven!

 


Over the Rainbow
Words by John Roeder, Judy Doyle, and Friends
tune: "Over the Rainbow" (music by Harold Arlen)

 

Somewhere, over the rainbow, cosmic rays
Fields magnetic protect us from their disturbing ways.

 

Somewhere, over the rainbow, there is light
That's refract- and reflected, truly an awesome sight

 

The purple strip is on the bottom
And the blue and green stripe right above it
Then yellow, just like lemon drops,
And orange and red upon the top
That's how we love it!

 

Somewhere, over the rainbow, there's UV
Until ozone absorbs it, but only B and C.

 

Rigid Body Sings

Words by James Clerk Maxwell

Tune: Comin’ Through the Rye

           (traditional Scottish tune)

 

If a body meet a body flyin' through the air.
If a body hit a body, will it fly? And where?
Every impact has its measure,

Ne'er a one have I,
Yet all the lads they measure me,

Or, at least, they try.

 

If a body meet a body, altogether free,
How they travel afterwards, we do not always see.
Every problem has its method,

By analytics high;
For me, I know not one o' them,

But what the worse am I?


The Cyclotronist’s Nightmare

By Prof. Arthur Roberts (APS Fellow), 1947

 

1. Once upon a midnight dreary
The cyclotron crew was weak and weary;
In walked the Boss with a smile so cheery,
In walked the Boss with a very broad smile.
"Boys," he said "Here's a wonderful chance"
"Boys," he said, "It'll make you want to dance"
"Boys," he said, "We must activate some iron,
Eighty millicuries by half-past nine! "

                                                                   “Eighty millicuries by half-past nine!”

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

                             Smack! in the target goes the ion beam!

 

2. "Boys," said the Boss, "For luck you have no peer,"
"Boys," said the Boss, "Get set to give a cheer,"
"Boys," said the Boss, "The President is coming here.
The President of the Reekanstinkle Fund
Giving all that money away is awfully tiring
The doctor said the President was ripe for retiring,
The doctor said he ought to take some activated iron,
Eighty millicuries twice a day!"

“Eighty millicuries twice a day!”

 

Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons,
Round & round &                         Round & round the magnet swings it,
Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons

                   Smack! in the target go the microamps.


3. "The President thought of us right away,
The President came to me the very same day
The President will honor us with a two-week stay
While we activate the iron for him in our beam.
The doctor said, 'Come back again two weeks from now,
The doctor said, 'Don't fret yourself; don't furrow your brow,
The doctor said, 'Just diet on the simplest kind of chow
And take your activated iron with sugar and cream."'

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

                             Smack! in the target go the milliamps!

 

 

4. "But," said the First Stooge, "We couldn't possibly… "
"But," said the Second Stooge, "Nobody ain't never … "
"But," said the Third Stooge, "The beam current's only… "
The Boss just frowned reprovingly.
"But," said the Fourth Stooge, "The internal radiation… "
"But," said the Fifth Stooge, "The isotope abundance… "
"But," said all the Stooges, "Dammitall, not even Berkeley… "
"Now, now," said the Boss, "Do it just for me."

 

Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons,
Round & round &                         Round & round the magnet swings it,
Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons

                   [Spoken] Look at those neutrons pouring out there!

 

 

5. The Boss said this, and smiling brightly,
Threw a kiss to each, politely,
Tripped to the door so carefree and lightly-
"Toodle-oo boys, we'll be here at nine!"
The First Stooge said, "It's our undoing."
Number Five began boohooing-
Three said only, "Let's get going-
Eighty millicuries by half-past nine!"

                                                          “Eighty millicuries by half-past nine!”

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

[Spoken] When we get our new chamber in, we'll have two milliamperes outside!

 

6. Rectifier, fore pump, diffusion pump, oscillator,
Magnet, filament, arc source generator,
Deflecting voltage, beam current integrator,
Eighty millicuries by half-past nine!
At three thousand kilowatts the oscillator wasn't stable;
At two thousand amperes the magnet fused its cable;
And at one o'clock the crew collapsed beneath the table
Eighty millicuries by half past nine!

“Eighty millicuries by half-past nine!”

 

Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons,
Round & round &                         Round & round the magnet swings it,
Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons

                   Bang, bang, bang, bang go the nuclei !!

 

 

7. The bell tolled out the hour of nine;
The Stooges' eyes were wet with brine;
The Fifth made vague remarks on dyin'-
Eighty millicuries of iron --haw!
But like the inexorable tides of Fate,
Promptly on their fatal date
The Boss and the President, never late
Came whiffling through the door.

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

[Spoken]

Phosphorus? just help yourself from the cookie jar there!

 


8. "Good morning, Boys!" the Boss cried loudly,
"Isn't she a beaut?" the Boss said loudly!
"Nearly eighteen million volts!" the Boss beamed proudly --
 "Hm! hm!“, The Stooges suppressed a nasty cough.
"Well, Boys -- well, boys--well!" said the Boss;
"Come now--come on now--come across!
You must have enough activity to choke a hoss,
But eighty millicuries will be quite enough."

“Eighty millicuries will be quite enough!”

 

Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons,
Round & round &                         Round & round the magnet swings it,
Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons

[Spoken] We don't bombard sodium – we just walk through the room with it!

 

9. The Fifth Stooge had an inspiration
Born in deepest desperation.
"Mr. President!" he cried, amid a great sensation,
(A Stooge may only look at a President.)
"If I am ruined beyond description
Let me see my doom's inscription
Show me, please, that damned prescription
For eighty millicuries twice a day!"

“Eighty millicuries twice a day!”

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

[Spoken] Well, you see, just now the external beam is only two microamps.

 


10. The President fumbled in his inside pocket-
The Fifth Stooge felt like a felon in the docket-
The President found a tiny locket,
Opened it, gave the paper away
To the wretched Stooge, almost expiring,
Who read the words of hope inspiring,
"Solution acetate of iron:
Eighty milligrams twice a day."

 

Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons,
Round & round &                         Round & round the magnet swings it,
Round & round &                         Round & round & round go the deuterons

[Spoken] Well, it isn't running just now, but we'll have it together again in about a week!

Well, maybe two weeks!

 

11. "So that's what the word was," the President said.
"I thought it was 'activated' iron, instead,"
"It didn't seem quite correct," he said,
"Eighty millicuries twice a day--"
The Boss and the President tripped away;
"Toodle-oo, boys, see you again, someday,"
And the cyclotron crew settled back to play-ha! ha!
And the ions go round twenty-four hours each day.

 

Round & round & round go the deuterons,  Round & round &
Round & round the magnet swings it,           Round & round &
Round & round & round go the deuterons   Round & round &

[Spoken] Aww, let’s just turn the damn thing off, and go to bed!


 

The Ether Song     Words by Walter Smith 3-22-01

Tune: Nancy Whiskey (traditional)

 

1. My name is Michelson, Albert Michelson.

Long ago I was full of pride --

I thought I knew just what I wanted --

Thought I could find it and more beside.

 

Refrain:

Ether, ether, luminiferous ether,          

Ether, ether, where’d you go?

 

2. I found a partner, a physics partner.

Edward Morley was his name.

We set out to measure the ether.

We set out to find our fame.

 

Refrain:

Ether, ether, luminiferous ether,          

Ether, ether, where’d you go?

 

4. So gather ye students, ye physics students,

Now that you’ve heard my tale of how

I spent a lifetime searching for the ether--

I couldn’t find it, it’s your turn now.

 

Refrain:

Ether, ether, luminiferous ether,          

Ether, ether, where’d you go?

 

 [Repeat:]

Ether, ether, luminiferous ether,          

Ether, ether, where’d you go?

 

 


Carbon is A Girl’s Best Friend 

Words by Lynda Williams, © 1998  (The Physics Chanteuse)

Tune: "Diamond’s are a Girl’s Best Friend "

Music by Jule Styne,    original lyrics by Leo Robin  (1949)

 

A lithium dose just might cure your depression,

But carbon is a girl’s best friend.

And gold may be grand but it won’t start a fire

In your barbeque,

Or put the toot in your choo-choo!

Life on Earth is carbon based.

It came here on rocks from outer space!

And formed organic compounds

Till the carbon-cycle went round and round!

Carbon is a girl’s best friend!

 

Well, there may come a time when you need to do some squeezing –

Carbon is the world’s hardest friend!

And there may come a time when a substrate is needed

To deposit your film on --

Just sputter it on a hard diamond.

If you have some lubing to do

Then graphite is the allotrope for you, you, you, you!

Or if you’re into Ages,

Then carbon-14 can date it!

Carbon is a girl’s best friend!

 

 [Extra bar of interlude.]

Well, I’ve heard of attempts to make hard carbon nitride

But diamonds always win in the end!

I’ve heard that we need to find something much cleaner

To put into our cars,

Or else we won’t get very far,

Cuz time rolls on and supplies will be gone

Of diamonds, coal and petroleum.

But nanotechnology

Can build anything with fullerenes----!

Carbon ---   Car=bon ---,  I don’t mean hydrogen, but

Carbon--- is a girl’s best----      friend,        Best friend!

 

 

Physics Theoretical     Words by John A. Barrett

Tune:  The Major General’s Song, from “Pirates of Penzance”

    Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan

 

[Lengthy instrumental intro]

 

I've studied all the sciences in order alphabetical,
My judgment is, which some of you may find to be heretical,
        The field that's really quite abstruse,
        The field where all the screws come loose,
The field that's famous for its spoofs, is physics theoretical.

I've taken undergraduate work whose content is forgettable;
And graduate work is gen'rally regarded as regrettable.
        The lecturers are all absurd.
        A cogent word is never heard.
[Pause] 

Insanity afflicts a third in physics theoretical.

 

We never do experiments; we shun the purely practical.
Our best work's done in getting grants--our budgets are fantastical.
        In one respect our motive's pure:
        Though funding fails, we still endure--
We make damn sure our job's secure in physics theoretical.

 

Our scientific breakthroughs are, to say the least, debatable.
We laugh at critics haughtily; our egos are inflatable.
        The rest of science goes along,
        Because our last defense is strong:
It's hard to prove we're ever wrong in physics theoretical.

 

[Instrumental conclusion]

 


A Liter and a Gram     Words by Tom Lehrer   © 1951
Tune: "A Bushel and a Peck” from Guys and Dolls,

      by Frank Loesser (1950)

 

1. I love you, a liter and a gram

A liter and a gram, and it's crazy that I am,

A meter and a yard, and a Newton and a Watt,

A Newton and a Watt, and I wanna know a lot about you, about you.

A meter and a liter, Nothin' could be sweeter

'Cause I love you, a liter and a gram

It's crazy that I am for you.

 

2. I love you, a poundal and a dyne

A poundal and a dyne, and I wanna make you mine;

A foot-pound and an erg and a Joule and a cal'rie,

A Joule and a cal'rie, and I wanna spend my sal'ry  on you, on you.

Centigrades and Fahrenheits,  You lift me up to darin' heights

'Cause I love you, a poundal and a dyne

And I wanna make you mine, I do.

 

(Repeat verse 2)

 

 

 


Victor the Vector     Words by Walter Smith 2-07

Tune: Rosin the Bow (traditional)

 

Oh, Victor the Vector was pining,

As he sat in his room all alone,

For passionate vector combining,

When Vicky called him on the phone.

She said, “I am feeling deje=ction! 

Come over and see me tonight!

I know you’ve both length and direction –

Let’s add tip-to-tail by moonlight!

Let’s add tip-to-tail by moonlight==, let’s add tip-to-tail by moonlight.

I know you’ve both length and direction – Let’s add tip-to-tail by moonlight!”

 

So Victor and Vicky, they tried out

All the ways that two vectors combine,

For after addition she cried out,

“Let’s go for the truly sublime!

Let’s try vector multiplica=tion –

Two vectors can create a third,

And the recipe for procreation

Is AB sin theta, I’ve heard.

Is AB sin theta, I’ve heard==, is AB sin theta, I’ve heard,

And the recipe for procreation is AB sin theta, I’ve heard.”

 

So they lit mathematical fires,

Lying head-to-head and tail to tail,

But despite their most ardent desires,

They produced just a frustrated wail!

For, as they found by error and try=ing,

And we know so ve=ry well,

Cross products are more satisfying

When vectors aren’t pa=rallel!,

When vectors aren’t pa=rallel==, when vectors aren’t pa=rallel,

Cross products are more satisfying when vectors aren’t pa=rallel!


The Insignificance Song, by Eric Idle

 

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving,

And revolving at 900 miles an hour,

That's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,

A sun that is the source of all our power!

The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see

Are moving at a million miles a day

In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour

Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way!

 

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.

It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side.

It bulges in the middle 16,000 light-years thick,

But out by us it's just 3,000 light-years wide.

We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point,

We go 'round every 200 million years.

And out galaxy is only one of millions of billions

In this amazing and expanding universe!

 

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding

In all of the directions it can whiz.

As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know,

12 million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure

How amazingly unlikely is your birth

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space

'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.


Make a Circuit With Me, by the Polecats  (1982)

 

A sweet romance is not for me, I need electricity!
If you wanna make me flip,  hit me with a micro chip!

 

I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode, Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me!

 

Just plug in and go-go-go, I'll be a human dynamo.

Signals in my power cord, Impulse on my circuit board.

 

I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode,

Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me!

 

 [Bridge tune:]

I'm an AC/DC man,  You can read my circuit diagram.
I feed on electric jolts,  I need fifty-thousand volts!

 

I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode, Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me!

 

A sweet romance is not for me, I really need electricity!
If you wanna make me flip,  Come on and hit me with a micro chip!

 

I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode, Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me!

 

 [Bridge tune:]

I'm an AC/DC man,  You can read my circuit diagram.
I feed on electric jolts,  I need fifty-thousand volts!

 

I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode,

Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with

Diode, cathode, electrode,

Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with

Diode, cathode, electrode,

Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me!!

 

 

The Tesla Song

Words by Marian McKenzie, Spring ‘02

(Tune: “Heavenly Sunshine”, by H. J. Zelley & G. H. Cook, 1899)

 

1. Nikola Tesla was an inventor.

Out of Croatia, hither he came,

Working for Westinghouse Corporation,

Where he won international fame!

 

[Chorus:]

Nikola Tesla! Nikola Tesla!

Let us now praise for what he has done=!

Giving us alterna=ting current –

It is the pow’r on which our lives run!

 

2. Tesla saw AC was the solution,

Letting the power companies send

Current to customers who were distant,

Lengths to which DC couldn’t extend!

 

[Chorus:]

Nikola Tesla! Nikola Tesla!

Let us now praise for what he has done=!

Giving us alterna=ting current –

It is the pow’r on which our lives run!

 

3.  Born amid lightning, Tesla was destined

To give us roaring dy=namos,

Electric motors, AC transformers,

Remote control and ra=dios!

 

[Chorus:]

Nikola Tesla! Nikola Tesla!

Let us now praise for what he has done=!

Giving us alterna=ting current –

It is the pow’r on which our lives run!

 


One-electron Atom      Words by Prof. Anonymous

Tune: “Ring of Fire”, by Johnny Cash

 

Last night, I had a dream

That life’s not what it seems.

I dreamed, and I was hurled

Into a Quantum World.

 

Chorus:

I was part of a one-electron atom!

I was bound, bound, bound

To a hydrogenic system.

And I learned, learned, learned

About the atom, about the atom.

 

Spectra and theory meet

When ener-gies are discrete.

Balmer series and Lyman lines --

In Bohrs’ model they all work fine.

 

Chorus:

I took part in a photon emission.

I fell down, down, down

Through an orbital transition.

And I learned, learned, learned

About the atom, about the atom.

 

To let my wavefunction

Quantize ang’lar momentum,

My quantum numbers were n,l,m,

Plus s and m-sub-s (they’re for spin).

 

Chorus:

I was part of a one-electron atom!

I was bound, bound, bound

By a Coulomb attraction.

And I learned, learned, learned

About the atom, about the atom.

 

 

 

The Love Song of the Electric Field

Lyrics by Walter Smith    Tune: Loch Lomond

 

Oh, you be the B field, and I’ll be the E field,

Let’s dance through the cosmos, my lover!

With the ether set aside, you and I can freely glide,

Supported on the wings of each other.

 

Before I met you, my skies were never blue.

 “My misery,” I said, “just enlarges.”

My head was always stuck in that negative old muck,

And my feet were attached to plus charges.

 

(Swing the rhythm)

 

But then you came along with a different kind of song,

Though it’s true you were trapped ‘round those currents.

But you had no start or end, you said, “Come along, my friend!

We don’t need these monopoles, you’ve my assurance.”

 

You took me by the hand, and we jumped up off the land,

And at first I was afraid it would pain me.

But I looked into your eyes, and it made me realize

That your d by dt could sustain me.

 

You said…

You be the E field, and I’ll be the B field,

Let’s dance through the cosmos, my lover!

We’ll leave earthly Q’s behind, and our destiny we’ll find,

Supported on the wings of each other.


N-A-N-O Nano! 

Lyrics by Mark Rzchowski & Friends, w/ help from M. McKenzie

Tune: Lola, by The Kinks

 

I saw it in a lab down at MIT

Where the buildings got no names,

                    they just give 'em numbers, like 7

No letters, just 7.

I looked down at it, but it was so hard to see

So I asked what it was, and they said to me,

"It's nano.  N-A-N-O, nano.  Na na na na nano!“

 

(10 beat interlude)

 

Well I'm not blind but I couldn't see

How anything that small could make a diff'rence to me,

Something nano.  N-A-N-O, nano.

And I'm not dumb, but I can't understand

How tapping mode can yield a clearer scan

For something nano.  N-A-N-O, nano. Na na na na nano!

 

(10 beat interlude)

Well, I'd left school just a week before

And I'd never ever worn a labcoat before

But when I touched that AFM

I knew I'd never be innocent again!

Well I'm not the world's most sciencey guy

But when I saw what it could do, even I could see why

We all love nano.

Na na na na nano –

 

Physics chemistry and biology

All mixed up together with new things to see, yeah that's nano.

N-A-N-O, nano - na na na na nano -

Nano.  Na na na na nano, na na na na nano!


Still Having Fun

Words by Marian McKenzie, 3-06

Tune: The Bells of St. Mary’s

 

When I was a wee thing, my Mama would say,

When you are a grown-up, you’ll have bills to pay --

Choose well a profession where greed is allowed --

Make ba=rrels of mo=ney and then I’ll be proud!”

 

But sadly for mama, I heard physics call!

Soon photons and sine waves were my all in all.

Complex oscillations were my heart’s delight,

And Jackson rested on my pillow ev’ry night!

 

Now I’m a professor, and life is a blast!

What other professors smash melons in class?

What other professors shoot things with a gun?

That’s why= I love phy=sics – I’m still having fun! 

[Repeat] That’s why= I love phy=sics – I’m still having fun! 

 

 

 

 

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