Four Lines on the Miller's Tale

         Beware all ye who try to read these verses
They're full of bawdy puns and pungent curses
Explicit references to body parts
And -- if you will excuse me -- even farts.     M.McI

   
   
   The time it took for Absolon to feel
The rage inside, he had his thoughts congeal
Into a plan of devious intent:
Hot rod in hand, to Alison he went.        Scott Watson
      
In brains the clerk thought John might somewhat lack;
He tried to screw his wife behind his back.
Alas, poor man, if only he had known,
What counts is what went on behind his own.        Audrey Ference
      
 Poor Alisoun; she had admirers three,
But none were what admirers should be.
The first was old, the next looked like a lass,
The last one had a crater in his ass.                  Stephen Yeager
      
When Absolon worked harm on Alisoun,
He missed his mark, but not the mark of John.
But Nicholas, he had his rear end seared,
And all because of her too-smelly Berd.           Luke Somers
      
You do recall the fin of this good farce,
When Nicholas was branded on his arse.
His tender skin--by iron was it mauled!
Thus Nicholas is prematurely bald.                 Nicole Foulke
      
The carpenter was led quite far astray,
When Nick the boarder wished to have his play.
For quick minds are by far the more advanced,
And at his host's expense the lovers danced.         Scott J. Goldstein
      
Unyielding Nicholas began to speak
Professing love in no way like a geek
Dear Alison had no choice but to give
To him her heart and then happily live.      Anonymous
   
The churlish Miller mocks the knight's whole tale
Bawdy humor born from no lack of ale
His love story recounted with words crass--
Love scorned, a flood, a poker up the ass.        Pablo Wolfe
   
For those of us who much by scripture set,
must read this tale with some intense regret;
For God's great flood, which ought drown all desire,
Instead adds fuel to Old Nick's randy fire.                    Michael Kay
   
 As for the story of the miller's tale
The blame of course was put upon the ale
For anyone who tells this parody
Is crazed to take responsibility.                Rianne Nolan
   
The execution of Nick's lusty plan,
Requires the duping of a "lesser" man,
His lady love, a show of discretion;
A brand he bears for all his presumption.     Lauren Hersh
   
All Absolon had wanted was a kiss
And new for sure that he would never miss;
The light around the window was quite dim,
And Alison had other plans for him.               Blythe Coons
      
While not a knight am I, who tell this tale,
In giving laughter true, I shall not fail.
Oh shut your trap now, Reve, and let me start -
A burning ass is funny, like a fart.                  Tony DiStinti
      
No courtly tales are here contained in verse
Salacious stories: Clinton-esque, or worse
Our Miller, it's clear, is a drunken louse
Let's all take pity on this man's poor spouse.       Geoffrey W. Melada
      
I do not know how I should judge this clerk--
Is he a scholar or a tasteless jerk?
It puzzles me that one so skilled in arts
Would let fly such tremendous noisome farts.        Jared Butt
      
Old Absolon wanted his sweet revenge
My rear has been burned by him in the end.
Oh has this hurt but I say, it is swell
Oh boy did my fart give off quite a smell!        Jean DiPaolo
   
First Nicholas's rear got really hot.
Now burnt and scarred, I bet it hurts a lot.
But he'll feel much more pain than he does now
When next the poor man tries to move his bowels!     David Barkan

 

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